It's not what you think!!

I signed up to take a meal to some friends tonight who recently had a baby.  The boys and I met my friend Jennifer and her boys at the park in the morning, then I had to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things.  It was a frustrating trip (as most grocery trips are these days), and I realized when we left that I'd forgotten white wine (one of the ingredients for the chicken dish I was planning on making tonight).  I haven't bought wine in at least five years; I enjoy it but we just don't drink it.  So the only time I open a bottle of wine is to make this particular recipe, and I happened to run out the last time I made it.

So back into the store we went (I had just caused a minor scene in the checkout line with the boys a few minutes before), and we went straight to the wine aisle.  I found what I needed and tried to look casual as I took it up to the checkout line.  It was so weird, but I felt like I needed to explain to the checkout lady why I was buying it!  And I know they weren't, but it felt like everyone in the store was noticing me and judging me.  Here I am, this woman who is very obviously pregnant and very obviously annoyed by the horrible behavior of her kids, who leaves the store then comes back a few minutes later to buy alcohol!  But while I was trying to casually explain that "I know this looks suspicious but I need this for a recipe," I felt even more stupid!  

What's worse, it took forever to check out because the receipt printer kept eating the paper, so the lady had to work on the machine for a minute.  When I finally got my receipt, I turned to see the manager (who was helping out with bagging) handing me my bottle of wine wrapped in a brown paper bag!!  Now I really felt like a wine-o.  Again, I said something silly to him about this looking very suspicious, which probably made me seem even more suspicious! 

At least it wasn't scotch or whiskey or vodka, and I'm sure those people didn't even give it a second thought.  And I'm not one of those people to be embarrassed by buying tampons or things like that.  So it surprised me how ashamed I was; I guess I just was afraid of being seen as an irresponsible mom who is putting her unborn baby in danger because she can't handle the stress of raising the two kids she already has!