Grant is ONE!

I cannot believe my little sweetie pie is a year old already. Everyone says the time flies, and I've definitely learned that it's true! These past 12 months have been such a whirlwind and probably the most intense and exhilarating of my life. I have learned so much....I was completely naive before having a baby, as are most soon-to-be moms! I remember going to Babies R Us during my pregnancy and having no idea where to even start. All of the baby gear was so overwhelming, and I had no idea how to pick between different products, what products I would even need, etc. Grant has taught me so much....about taking care of a baby, but also so much more. I don't think you really can comprehend what sacrificial love means until you have a child who depends on you for literally everything. My life is completely different than it was just a year ago, yet I wouldn't give anything to have all of that free time back.

I have also learned how to be flexible.....I have learned to do a much better job of accepting things as they are and rolling with the punches when things don't go exactly the way I'd choose. Grant has been the exception to the rules (as books define them) in many cases....spitting up ALL the time, having a really tough case of stranger anxiety from three months old, and never settling into a good nap routine (not being able to get him to regularly sleep longer than 30 minutes), to name a few! I'd do everything the books suggest, and for a while I got so frustrated when it seemed that my baby was just not cooperating! But I finally realized that when I look back 10 years from now, I want to have enjoyed Grant just as he is. I learned (and am still working on this!) that I will never be able to make him do exactly what I want! So I've started to cherish and enjoy all those little quirks about him, and remember that God picked him out just for us for a reason!

It's also just crazy for me to think how much time Grant and I have spent together over the past year. I've been within 50 feet of him for almost every hour of the past 365 days! I'll go out for a Bible study every couple of weeks or to run to the store and leave him with Dean every once in a while (or leave him in the church nursery for an hour or two), but almost every waking hour is spent with him! And I really wouldn't have it any other way; I never imagined how hard it would be to leave him, even for a few hours! And even though he can't speak yet, he knows me better than almost anybody else in the world. He has witnessed me at my worst, in my most upset and frustrated moments, and yet he is so forgiving....he still loves me and wants to be near me all the time. This just melts my heart and makes me want to be a great mommy to him.

Even when I was pregnant, I couldn't contemplate how amazing it would be to have a baby. Grant is the most precious treasure Dean and I have ever had here on earth. I love him more and more as I get to know his funny personality better every day. It's a little bittersweet knowing that he's changing all the time and that he's turning into a little boy before our eyes! But I also know that there are so many fun adventures for us in the months and years to come. I love you so much, big boy!! Happy first birthday!!