On Jan 29, one year ago, I put Grant down for his morning nap and hurried downstairs to take a pregnancy test. We had been trying to get pregnant for about 5 months. This month, I was planning to wait a few more days before taking a test, but I couldn't wait! So I grabbed the test, hands shaking, and unwrapped it. After peeing on the stick (I don't know of a more graceful way to put it!), I waited about 15 seconds before seeing "Pregnant." Knowing that Grant was asleep, I couldn't scream out loud, but I jumped up and down and squealed in the bathroom! I was so happy.....I hugged our cat, Scooter and took about thirty pictures of the pregnancy stick!
Later that afternoon, Grant and I went to Toys R' Us to buy a big brother t-shirt. I was so excited for Dean to come home......usually, Grant ran to the door to see Daddy, but this day he was crying about something. So I was actually holding him when Dean walked in the door. I waited just a couple of seconds, then asked Grant if he showed Daddy his new t-shirt. At this point, Dean saw it and gave me a big hug!
My feelings from that day are still so fresh.....the idea of having a little baby growing inside your body is so overwhelming and exciting (and it didn't matter that I already had gone through it once before!). I've been amazed over the past couple of weeks when I think about how miraculous life is. One year ago today, when I found out I was pregnant, Drew was about the size of a sesame seed. It is utterly amazing to me that 365 days later, he is a precious, smiley 4-month old baby.
In the past couple of weeks, there's also been a lot of talk on radio shows and on TV about the abortion debate and Roe vs. Wade (the anniversary of the decision was last week). Since I've had children, this issue has become so much more meaningful to me. One radio show I really enjoy listening to is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss (it comes on 105.7FM at 9:30am in Houston). Most days, it is (sadly!) the only time I spend hearing or learning about spiritual things. She usually has really good topics and I love listening to her.
Anyway, abortion was the topic last week, I'm sure because of the Roe vs. Wade "anniversary." One day she interviewed a woman who had gotten pregnant when she was 16, and she had an abortion. She then went on to have two more abortions in subsequent years, and there was a complication during her final abortion that made her unable to get pregnant again. It made me sick to my stomach when I heard her describe the abortion process; she laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling, hearing the vacuum-like sound as her fetus was removed from her body. She said that, even though the people at the clinic convinced her that she was doing the right thing, she couldn't help but realizing that they were removing something that would have become her baby. I cannot imagine such an empty feeling. Now that I have kids, abortion seems so vile and wicked.....I never had seen it quite that way before experiencing pregnancy and childbirth myself. The thought of having your baby (no matter how small) sucked out of your body with a vacuum and thrown in the trash is horrific.
And like I said, I probably wouldn't have seen it quite this way before having kids, so I can't fault young girls who think they're doing the right thing. But it just makes me want to have the chance to talk to anyone who is considering it.....I would love to show them pictures of what their baby will become, and I'd tell them how amazing it is to see your newborn baby in your arms (not to mention everything that comes afterward!). And it makes me so angry at people who fight for abortion rights, yet plead for mass-murderers to be given mercy. Barack Obama is a staunch abortion activist.....he even voted in Illinois to uphold partial birth abortion (making him more extreme than most). Then last week he made a comment about Guantanamo Bay, saying that the United States will not torture enemy combatants (i.e. terrorists who want to kill Americans). It just doesn't make sense......it's going to be a long four years....
I didn't mean for this post to be such a downer, but I have thought about this so much over the past couple of weeks and feel so strongly about it! Anyway, here is a sweet picture of my little guy, one year after being the size of a sesame seed.....for anyone who's still reading..... :)
January Lessons
10 years ago
6 comments:
Hey Alissa! Amen, Amen. A life is a life no matter how small. It is so strange to me to hear people defend adults, animals, etc... but think abortion is fine. Let's protect babies and children first and then worry about the bad guys with guns. I think you said it very well - as a mother I can't imagine anything more horrific. Back to taking care of David - we are experiencing our first ear infection and no sleep! Love, Margaret
I'm still reading. :) First of all, I LOVE all the pink, so thanks in advance. :) Second, Drew is ridiculously adorable. I'm so glad he's been such a joy, and an easy baby. Third, I think over the past few years my heart has broken over the abortion issue more because of all the friends I've had who want to get pregnant SO badly and can't. Once you've had a friend go through that, it makes abortion even sadder (is that a word?) because there are so many wonderful, loving, godly families that would love nothing more in the world than to hold that little baby in their arms and here people are treating it like an inconvenience. I always joke that we got pregnant a little sooner than planned, but one reason why was because I was worried about fertility, and I constantly thank God that Cassidy happened so easily for us.
You said it very well. Before I was a parent, I was against abortion from more of a theoretical perspective, but now that I've felt my babies growing inside me and held them in my arms, I can't begin to imagine deciding that miracle of life growing inside you is something to be thrown in the trash. It breaks my heart for the deception these women must be put through in order to believe that about their own children... and like you, makes me furious at those propagating the deception and fighting so hard to promote it.
I once read a poignant quote by Mother Teresa, and it's always stuck with me: "It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
I so agree, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
That is one adorable sesame seed you've got there by the way :)
If you have time, listen to this sermon by John Piper.
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2009/3528_The_Baby_in_My_Womb_Leaped_for_Joy/
Thanks so much for sharing your words. I just ache all over for girls and women who find themselves in a place of feeling like they have no other choice.
On a funny note, I opened your post and immediately saw the positive pregnancy test, and thought you had a little, ahem, ANNOUNCEMENT to make!!!!! :)
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