Frustrations and Realizations

It's been a frustrating past couple of days for me. I've been sort of down for different reasons....primarily being our finances. We are in no means desperate or anything, but we've just realized that we've been spending too much and most months lately we haven't been saving much at all. I know.....many people would be grateful to be able to save anything! But we're thinking that in a couple (or few years), we'll probably need to get a new car (or at least be preparing ourselves just in case). And we calculate how much we need to save monthly to get to the point where we could buy a car down the road.....it's a lot of money! And that's if we only save to buy a car, and nothing else! Anyway, I'm an accountant and I know I should do a much better job budgeting and being on top of all this stuff, but I'm not.....then when I finally realize our situation, I freak out!

And.....to top things off, just as all of this is on my mind.....today Grant and I went outside to play. Amminadab (our kitty who has been recently relegated to full-time backyard life) came up and sat on the porch, and was obviously favoring his left bottom. Sure enough, he had two little puncture wounds (I guess he lost a fight with another kitty!), and one of them was leaking something really gross! So I took him to the vet this afternoon, thinking we'd probably end up spending around $150 to get it all cleaned up and stuff. No.....it was $262!!!!!! I couldn't believe it! And.....we're supposed to take him back in another month to have bloodwork done to make sure he doesn't have feline leukemia (from the bite). There's no way I'm spending more money on that cat right now. With the $300 we spent to get him declawed in February, I think it's very possible that I've spent more on Amminadab this year than on Grant! Aahhh!!!

The most annoying part of all of this is that I try and try to save money wherever I can. I don't clip grocery coupons (I've found that it's usually cheaper just to buy generic!), but I wait to buy things at Kroger until they're on sale, to save a few dollars. And I have a list of things I still need for Drew......so I'll use 20% off coupons at Babies R' Us just to save $5 on one or two items here and there. And then this happens......I look at the line items on the vet's invoice, and it seems pointless to try to save a few dollars here and there! I could have taken that $262 and bought everything else I needed for Drew's room, plus a lot more!

Anyway, I could go on and on. I have just been frustrated and in a bad mood for the past couple of days. But I think I am also realizing that I probably focus too much on money, especially when things like this come up. The verse that comes to mind is "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." I'm pretty sure it's in Matthew somewhere, but I can't remember now! Anyway, I tend to spend much more time worrying about the situation than I do trusting God to provide for us. So when I think about it, the fact that Amminadab's expensive visit to the vet happened today was probably timed perfectly.....so that I would learn that certain things are out of my control, and to teach me to worry less and trust God more.